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Fight Fire With Fire/Transcript
(The episode begins somewhere in Kanto as Charmander is knocked down, as the scene reveals that he is in a battle with a Flareon, whose trainer just so happens to be Gaven) Flareon: Mhmmmhmmhmmm, You're only delaying the inevitable, you know. When Gaven wants something I make sure he gets it. (Gaven throws a Pokeball at Charmander, and of course, Charmander breaks free) Charmander: When I want something I GET IT MYSELF! (Charmander bites on Flareon's head) Flareon: Hawhaaawww this is cute. You think you have a chance. Gaven: Human hu! (Flareon gets Charmander off his head by headbutting him off) (Another Pokeball is thrown at Charmander, but he hits it away) Flareon: Huhahahahahaha! Desperate to go out suffering, I see. Alright, then. Attack me again, pre-'vo. Let's see what happens. Charmander: How 'bout one of these? SQUIRTLE! (Squirtle uses Bubble, but Flareon walks away from the bubble) Flareon: Ppppffffft!!! Did you really think that would- Huh? (Charmander holds Squirtle in his hands, ready to use Squirtle's shell spin move) Charmander: Yep. (throws Squirtle) VINE WHIP! (Bulbasaur vine whips Squirtle, and Squirtle hits Flareon) Flareon: Aaah! (Charmander yells as he has a shiv in his hand and prepares to stab Flareon with it) Flareon: AAAAAAHHH! WHAT!? (Charmander stabs Flareon with the shiv) Flareon: DAAAAaaaaAAAAAHHHH!!! Charmander: Squirtle! Bubble! (Squirtle uses another Bubble, it hits Flareon and hurts him in the process) Flareon: Daaaah!!! You're both DEAD! When we catch you, I'll make sure you ROT in the BACK OF A PC! Gaven: Hu! (Flareon tries to use bite, but Charmander won't let him) Charmander: Bubble! Again! Squirtle: But- Charmander: NOW! (Squirtle uses Bubble and it hurts Flareon) Flareon: DDDAAAAAAHHHH!!! cough You can't DO THIS! Charmander: We almost got him! One more! (Squirtle notices the "Flareon used Bite!") Charmander: Come on! Bubble! Flareon: It's... my turn! (Charmander stabs Flareon with the shiv again) Flareon: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! Charmander: What're you waiting for? (Gaven throws another Pokeball at Charmander, and breaks free just as Flareon attacks Squirtle) Charmander: Damnit! Bulbasaur! Backup plan! Bulbasaur: Hi Gaven! Gaven: Hu? (Bulbasaur vine whips a Pokeball, and Charmander catches it) Gaven: Huu..... HUUUMAAAAAAaaan! Flareon: Gaven! Wait! Ah! L-let's...let's be reasonable here.... You can't just take my ball and- NO! PLEASE! You win, okay!? YOU WON! I'm sorry. I'll do whatever you want, just... I- I- I don't... Just please don't hurt me! PLEASE! Charmander: Look what that human's done to you! You can't even defend yourself without being told what to do! You would've fought to the death for him, wouldn't you? And at the first sign of danger, he leaves you! Flareon: WAIT! (Charmander does something to the Pokeball, which makes Flareon unable to re-enter it) Charmander: Now you belong to no one! (breaks the Pokeball in half) Get out of here! And don't come back until you learn to fight for yourself! (Flareon runs away) Squirtle: Wow! Excellent use of empathy, Charmander. I'm impressed. Charmander: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? Squirtle: Uh, well, I, uh... Charmander: We had him right where we wanted and you just stood there! Squirtle: I just- I- uh y- you- and uh- Charmander: WHAT!? Squirtle: sigh You're really supposed to take turns attacking. Charmander: AUGH! THIS AGAIN!? Where does that even come from!? Squirtle: That's just how it is, Charmander! You're supposed to fight that way! Charmander: NO ONE tells ME how I'm SUPPOSED TO FIGHT! Squirtle: Well we can't all be like YOU! Bulbasaur: Guys! Uh...didn't we win? Squirtle and Charmander: SHUT UP, BULBASAUR! Squirtle: We can't go on like this! What we're doing is cheating! (Behind Bulbasaur, a bush glitches into Hitmonchan-Missingno. and quickly returns to normal when Bulbasaur turns around to look at it) Charmander: What we're doing is winning! If we have to cheat to win then so be it! Squirtle: That's not-! Ugh. Charmander, these rules exist for a reason. Charmander: Yeah! So humans can enslave and control us! And I'd say it worked pretty well with your last trainer. Squirtle: Okay, sure. He was terrible. But not every trainer is like that! Most of them actually know what they're doing! Charmander: Tch! TSSH!!! I can't believe what I'm hearing! It's like you want us to get caught! Squirtle: Well... Charmander: "Well" what? Squirtle: Well, hear me out. Would it really be so bad if we were? Let's be honest. If we stop trying to figure this out on our own and just let a professional handle it for us maybe we'd be a little better off! (Charmander starts getting angry and Squirtle withdraws into his shell as Charmander starts beating him up) Charmander: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! I DO NOT NEED A HUMAN TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA SUPPORT THIS TEAM YOU CAN LEAVE! (Charmander throws Squirtle at a tree and Squirtle hits it and Leader Caterpie, along with two other Caterpie, fall from it) Caterpie #1: WaaaAAAgh!!! Caterpie #2: ABORT MISSION! ABORT! Leader Caterpie: No! Stop! Caterpie #1: I'm soooorrryyyy!!! Caterpie #2: This was never worth the riiiiisk! Leader Caterpie: COWARDS! Charmander: Yeah! Get back here and fight me! Oh well. You'll have to do. Leader Caterpie: Yeeiiey! Stay back, demon! You may be stronger than me but this Pokemon was trained to be the ultimate killing machine! Take another step forward and it shall be unleashed to wreak havoc upon the land! Charmander: Well now I'm just curious. Squirtle: Hey, isn't that the kid's backpack? Charmander: Yeah, wait! How did you get that!? Who are you!? Leader Caterpie: WHAT!? You seriously don't remember me!? Charmander: Uh...Squirtle? Squirtle: Really, Charmander? Are you even paying attention? Bulbasaur: He looks like my hat! Leader Caterpie: GGrrrRRRaaaauuhh!! Witness your demise, Lizard! Witness TRUE POWER! (Leader Caterpie throws the Pokeball and releases a Nidoran♀) Whiskers: Hhauuah! Is that HIM!? Aaugh! No! I'm not ready! Leader Caterpie: Whiskers, calm down. Whiskers: Y- you said we'd have time to train! Leader Caterpie: Wh- Hey! Listen. Whiskers: We were gonna, like, scope his movements, find a weakness. Leader Caterpie: Wh- Okay stop! Listen to me! I- Whiskers: Wha- I can't do this yet! Leader Caterpie: Wh- Hey! Listen! Whiskers: He's totally gonna murder me Leader Caterpie: Whiskers! Whiskers: and I DON'T WANNA BE MURDERED TODAY! Leader Caterpie: Wh- Whiskers! Whiskers, listen to me! LISTEN! You. Are. Ready. We trained for this day. We have a plan. Remember the plan. Whiskers: The plan! Right. Okay. Yeah. Uhm...he- he doesn't look so... M-m-murdery...gulp Leader Caterpie: You can do it, Whiskers! KILL HIM! Whiskers: I can do this! I can totally do this! Leader Caterpie: Use Poison Sting! Bulbasaur: Poison? (Whiskers tries to use Poison Sting on Charmander, but Bulbasaur gets in the way and it stings him instead) Bulbasaur: Ow! Aw man... I barely got any- (turns purple from being poisoned) Oh wait, there it is. Aaaaaahhhhhh~ Charmander: My turn! Whiskers: I DON'T WANNA DIE! Charmander: Hey! Get back here! Squirtle: Hey...uh... Leader Caterpie: Stay back! I have...uh... Other monsters at my disposal that are just as ferocious as this one! (Charmander is trying to burn Whiskers) Whiskers: THIS WASN'T THE PLAN AT ALL! Squirtle: Listen. We're not here to hurt you. We're, uh, more civil than Charmander. Bulbasaur: sloppily It's the truth, hat worm! You don't have to worry! You're made of butter! Everybody likes butter! Leader Caterpie: Stop wearing my brother's severed head! Squirtle: Okay, let's calm down here. I know you're mad about Charmander. But is killing him really going to solve anything? Leader Caterpie: YES! Squirtle: Okay okay, sure. But then you'd be no better than him! Trust me. If you try to use force, you're only gonna end up fueling the fire. Leader Caterpie: What're you saying? Squirtle: The only way you can win this is if you can change his attitude. Right now, he doesn't even know who you are. Or care, for that matter. Charmander: I'M GONNA KILL YOU! Whiskers: Nooohooohooooo! Squirtle: But he can change! I mean... I already see it happening. And trust me, If you can get him to actually feel bad about what he's doing, It'll be way more satisfying for you. Leader Caterpie: You- You're not like him at all. Squirtle: Heh. No. I'm- I'm really not. Leader Caterpie: Ah, then this'll be way easier than I thought! (Leader Caterpie catches Squirtle with a Pokeball) Charmander: Hey! What do you think you're doing!? (gets poison stung by Whiskers) Aaah!! Whiskers: Yes! I did it! I did the thing! gasp (Leader Caterpie uses String Shot to get away from Charmander, the string clings on to a Butterfree) Leader Caterpie: Fear not Lizard! We'll be back to finish the job! Charmander: (turning purple from being poisoned) You-! tuh- You can't do that, you- Guh... Aaarrhhh! Bulbasaur: sloppily Don't worry, buddy! Sometimes with the things you like- If you- if you like somethin' the most You- If you- Some- you don't even have- if you don't do it at all! Charmander: Shut-! Urrkkkhh! Shut up Bulbas- SsSssaaaaaghhh... (Scene cuts to inside a cave, where Squirtle is released from his Pokeball) Leader Caterpie: Welcome home, new recruit! Squirtle: Aw come on! Seriously! Ughh... Where am I? Leader Caterpie: This is my personal gym. For years my people have cowered in the face of danger, too weak to fight back against our natural predators. But no more! Under my leadership, the Caterpie race has been transformed into an unstoppable army! (Leonard, a small Caterpie, tries to lift weights, which is just a stick with two rocks at each end, but it falls on him) Leonard: Dduuuiuugh! HEEEELP!! Whiskers: Don't give up, Leonard! I believe in you! Squirtle: So, what's with the giant rocks? Whiskers: We don't know how to move them. Leader Caterpie: Now then. As of today, I am officially your new Pokemon trainer. And to solidify our bond, I will now give you a nickname. Henceforth, you shall be known as, uhh... Bluey! Because you are blue! Squirtle: Please don't call me that. Whiskers: You're gonna love it here Bluey! The boss tells you exactly what to do so you don't have to stress out about constant decision making! Plus, everyone really believes in each other! Caterpie: I believe in you, Whiskers! Whiskers: I BELIEVE IN YOU TOO!!! Squirtle: Are we really doing this? Leader Caterpie: Make no mistake, Bluey. Unlike the Lizard, my training methods are focused and effective. I am prepared to work hard to make you a valuable asset to my team. Squirtle: Do you know how to leave? Whiskers: Well usually I just get in my ball and sometimes I wake up somewhere else. Squirtle: Huugh... I guess I don't have a choice then. Leader Caterpie: Nope! Prepare yourself, Bluey. This will be the most rigorous training of your entire life. And you will leave this place a different Pokemon! Before we begin, do you have any questions? Squirtle: Uhm...yeah. Um....so... Are you a boy or a girl? (Leader Caterpie did not like that question) Leader Caterpie: Whiskers. Poison sting Bluey. (Whiskers proceeds to poison sting Squirtle) Squirtle: AAaaauuuuagh! Leader Caterpie: Let us begin. (Episode ends) Category:Episode transcripts